The babies were 2 weeks old when my friend Janna came over to bring us dinner and to see them. She is a mother of 6 year old twin girls. When she asked me how it was going, I was confident in telling her that it had been surprisingly easy so far. I went on to tell her how they just slept, ate, pooped, and rarely made a peep.
She smiled at me and said, "you do know that these sweet little babies are going to wake up. God only makes them like this so you will take them home from the hospital."
At the time, I naively thought that my babies had to be different from other babies I had heard about. I had always heard moms complaining about how hard it is with a newborn and how all they did was cry and want to be held.
I saw none of this for the first 3 weeks. I thought "wow, I am so lucky." THEN, the babies "woke up".
When I say they woke up, I mean they WOKE UP! Imagine these two precious babies mouths wide open, screaming at the tops of their lungs! Rob and I would each have one. At first I was pretty good at getting them calm so I would hold the louder baby. I would rock, sway, bounce, and sing until he or she would quiet down. Then I would pass that one to Rob and he would pass me the other screaming baby. This would go on until they both tired out and fell asleep.
Just to let you know how desperate things can get, one evening I decided to go to the gym leaving Robbie with the twins. I had had a pretty rough day myself so it was nice to escape!
When I returned about 45 minutes later, I walked into my home to see both babies in their car seats, attached to the double stroller in my den. They were both asleep and so was Robbie on the couch.
Apparently when I left, they both started screaming. All daddy knew was that they love strolling in their stroller, so he strolled them around the house until they fell asleep. He was so tired after 30 minutes that he fell asleep too. He was so funny. He just kept saying, "they would not stop screaming. You are NEVER leaving again."
All I could do was laugh, pat him on the back for thinking so quickly and creatively, and sympathize because I had been there a few times myself.
The stroller became a common "go to" for panic mode the next few days until I realized that there had to be a better way!
Last Monday was my breaking point. I should have known what kind of day it was going to be when I woke up and found out that Robbie already had the stroller out and was walking the twins up and down the street at 7:00 a.m. By 10:00 a.m. I had tried rocking, bouncing, singing, swinging, and strolling. Then I loaded them into the car seats and into the car.
Mind you...I was still in my pajamas with no make-up, and the hair was a straight up mess. I didn't care. Both babies were crying and tired but would not go to sleep. After half an hour of riding around in the car and one baby asleep (Ella Harper), I pulled up to the house with a very mad Tripp still screaming. I quickly retrieved my "Baby Wise" book and started reading while I feverishly rocked a crying Tripp. I decided then and there that we were going to get on a good schedule and get the sleeping thing under control. We are still working on this and next time I will let you know what we have done and if it is working . I also research other techniques such as the "no crying" method. I would love to hear what you did in your household to get your child or children on a good sleeping schedule. Are you a "Baby Wise" fan or more of a "Baby Whisperer" fan. Vote on my new poll! Remember to make a comment you must create a google ID.
Until next time...pray for sleep and peace in the Duncan home!
Awww! I remember what it was like when Hannah Grace "woke up." I can't imagine what it's like in the house when two babies "wake up." You are my superhero! lol I'm trying to think of what we did with her, but honestly, we just went into survival mode. We tried everything, but she was such a terrible sleeper (and still is) that nothing seemed to work with her. We tried Baby Wise, but she would cry so much that she would vomit all over the place, and I couldn't handle that. Then, we tried the "No Cry" method, but that didn't even work sometimes. I know that doesn't sound encrouraging, but just keep in mind that this, too, shall pass. I look back now and think, "Man! Where did the time go." I really hope one of these methods works for you. I'll be keeping you all in my prayers. Call me when/if you get a free chance. lol Love you.
ReplyDeleteAwww, Car!! Bless your heart! I can't imagine two...my only advise is try, try again. I found that things that may not have worked to sooth the girls initially may be my saving grace a couple weeks down the road. They are growing and changing so much at this point, it seems their likes and dislikes change constantly. I've also found with parenting, when I feel like I just can't take it anymore, is when God tends to cute me a break...it will all come together at some point. Lastly, I saw in the "One Step Ahead" magazine a product that relieves Colic Naturally (I wasn't sure if Tripp is still having tummy trouble) but it's a herbal pack that you warm in the microwave and place on his belly (product #13194 Happi Tummi). Good luck, Cuzz!! You're in our thoughts and prayers!! LOVE YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteI know I am new to this too, since my baby is only a week or so older-but here's my thoughts, anyway! I voted 'other' in the poll. I can't do cry it out. Not sure if my method counts as a 'no cry' method-they definitely will still always cry some while you try to help them, don't get me wrong. I have just heard to not let them cry it out before they can really self soothe themselves. And I know when Owen gets hysterical-he can't soothe himself yet. His flailing arms go all over the place and it just gets worse!
We do the 5 S's from The Happiest Baby on the Block. It seems like some of them are obvious at first, or maybe not enough to do the trick-but some babies need ALL of them at once and that I think makes a big difference.
They are Swaddling, 'Shushing' (you have to do this LOUD, right in their ear) Side/Stomach (turning them on their side) sucking (pacifier), and swinging.
There are some different interview clips about here-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCg4EsJM6vc&feature=related
If Owen is hysterical, the way to get him calm is swaddle him tight with arms down, turn up our white noise machine (Homedics Soundspa from Target, it's awesome), give him his paci, and shush him while rocking or bouncing. His biggest problem is his flailing arms-he cannot stop himself at a certain point and then just can't stop crying.
I know it's got to be tough when you have two crying babies...
I've heard the fussiness can peak at 6 weeks, and that growth spurts can make things worse at times. Maybe this is a phase they will get through and things will improve. Hope things get better soon!
Ella was a very tough baby. I thought all babies sleep. I was wrong. I basically had to teach her how to nap. I bought The Baby Whisperer and BabyWise and then finally settled on Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child. Don't you love how everyone has their favorites. (:
ReplyDeleteShe cried a lot when I tried to put her down for a nap so typically I would just get her up which just left her fussy and exhausted. So she still cried. I loved rocking and holding her while she slept but at the same time I can't do that 24/7. I basically had to start giving her cues. I started using a sound machine, swaddled her as tight as I could get her and I bought black out shades. And yes, I had to let her cry some. I felt terrible, but at the same time she was fussy and was draining me. She was either fussy in her bed or fussy with me holding her. The cues really helped and it turned out with her is that she needed a strict schedule. It's almost like when you were in college and you stayed up late studying and at some point you would catch that second wind. That's what my book talked about and it was so how Ella behaved. If I was even ten minutes late for a nap she just wouldn't sleep! She had already caught that second wind which made it hard to fall asleep since she was overexhausted. It wasn't an easy fix, but I eventually figured out what was best for her and my sanity.
Then came Evie. She was SO different. She slept a lot. I would lay her down for a nap and walk out of the room feeling like I did something wrong because she never cried. When she got older she would even ask for a nap sometimes! She took a paci where Ella would not. All you had to do is pop that thing in her mouth and her eyes would roll.
Good luck! All babies are different. You'll get this figured out and then they'll find another way to puzzle you. (: Just remember it won't last forever. You're a super mommy! And use all the help and breaks that are offered!
hi carlyn! your babies are so precious, i saw your blog post on your FB status so here i am.....we did somewhere b/w babywise and baby whisperer. one sleep training website said it was ok to let them cry for one minute for the age in weeks. i think that any of the methods are great when used w/ determination, lol, and knowing that it will be closer to 12 weeks of age before they really respond well to it. we read tons of books- both of those you mentioned, healthy sleep habits, happiest baby on block, and dr. ferber's book and used advice from all.....biggest things we took away were to definitely follow a schedule at all times, no more than 2 hrs awake time (less than that for newborns), do the "EASY" approach- eat, awake, sleep, you - whenever the "you" part can actually happen. first morning nap is most important, have an early bedtime, don't arouse them at night feedings (keep it dark, no talking, just feed & back to bed). we also were huge believers in a tight swaddle, dark room, and white noise for sleeping kinda like what the previous comment says. good luck and it does eventually get better! :)
ReplyDeleteHey girl!! So I just found your blog and I am so glad I did!! I know we briefly talked about this subject at the mall, but I will put in my two cents.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you are doing a GREAT job and you are such an awesome momma! Those precious babies are so blessed to have you as their momma.
Second, I remember people saying this to me when I was right there in your shoes... BUT it's SOOOOO true... this too shall pass. You will blink and they will be sleeping through the night and you won't know what to do with yourself. As I said the other day, you are in the "trenches"- But it's only going to get better. It took some time to get mine on a good schedule, but once I did it did wonders. I read Babywise and while I agree with a lot of its content, I don't swear by it. There were times that I made a call as their mom when I felt like it was the best choice for them. We can talk more in detail sometime about what I did and didn't do.
We had some issues with gas in the beginning and it was so hard. I breastfed for 3 months and when we supplemented with formula they would screeeeam!!! It was awful and I felt like the worst mother ever. If I knew then what I know now- I would not be so hard on myself! HA! All that being said, they have "new plumbing" as my Pediatrican says, and they are just gonna have tummy issues. It eases around 3 months... so hang in there and I promise it will make a world of difference. My once screaming in pain babies are very happy and are loving life!!
Please call me anytime... reach me through facebook, email etc. Would love to meet up sometime!
Lauren
I hope that things are starting to settle down with your precious little ones!
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